Relationships

It's been said that relationships take work. When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn't, frustration can set in. One problem that can affect our relationships has to do with the feeling that our partner should know what we need. It's a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind, because when you expect that your partner will know your wants and needs, that is essentially what happens. We develop this expectation as kids. Caregivers should know what I need and provide that; whether it be food, clothing, entertainment, etc. But as adults we're responsible for communicating our feelings and needs. This can be really hard. And it calls us to be vulnerable; vulnerable to rejection or not responded to. So, when your partner expresses a need or want, remember to recognize that they are taking a risk in talking to you. Then, when you want to express a desire in return, you can hopefully count on them to help you feel safe. Relationships can be work; but with attention and effort we can learn what our partners need and want.